Looking Out 23.1.22

New Year Resolutions I don’t recall when I stopped making new year resolutions. Maybe as I went through life, I came to realise that stepping into a new year itself didn’t give me enough impetus to change. Why bother to spend time on making a list of resolutions that would probably end up in my bottom shelf by end of February? Actually, I knew where my problem was. Procrastination. My reasons were many---too many distractions, unanticipated changes in circumstance, priority shift etc. Was it all that explained my sluggishness to change? Thomas A Harris, in his book, I’m OK – You’re OK, names three situations that will make people want to change. The first one is when people hurt sufficiently. “They have beat their heads against the same wall for so long that they decide they have had enough,” he said. Another situation is when people suffer from a sense of ennui, despair or dissatisfaction. Harris said these are the people who have gone through life saying, “So what!” until they finally ask the ultimate big question “So, What?” Now, they are ready to change. The third situation is when people suddenly realise that they can. This change of attitude may occur as a result of attending a course and witnessing the changes in other people. Well, with this pandemic still raging through the earth, I think we all can add a fourth one to Harris’ list. When faced with a life-threatening situation, most of us would listen, we would change. I’m sure we still remember how we, within a few days, started wearing masks, washing hands, practising social distancing and stopped hugging, shaking hands and visiting people. Harris’s analysis helped me to understand the deeper reasons behind my inertia to change. Now, before I scribble down a list of resolutions, I will first ask myself: am I really ready for change? Do I need to hit my head against the same wall until I bleed before I stop? Will the new goal take my life to a new horizon? Can I do it? Where do I find the strength to make the plunge and the resilience to carry it through? This issue of strength and resilience is very important to me, especially with my die-hard habit of procrastination. In time, I have come to realise that God is the one I can count on. God rarely handed me a blank cheque or lighted up the entire path in front of me. But by closely seeking His guidance and company, I would be able to make small steps in the right direction and eventually found myself out of a doldrum. Looking back, my capacity to change has grown as my bond with God deepens. I have gone from making new year resolutions with zeal, to despair as the plans shattered, then slowly to where I am today when making new year resolutions is a thing of the past for me. With God’s grace, 1 January is no better day than any other day to turn a fresh page in my life.

Cho-wai